Tuesday 26 June 2012

So, we touched down in Melbourne after mini flight pastries, thankfully no grey omlettes this time. The time was 7.40am and it was around 28 hours since our last sleep. Olivia (lazerbeam) decided it might be a good idea to leave her kindle on the plane so it could perhaps take a trip back to Singapore but sadly the pilot thought this was not such a good idea and came and gave it back!

We turned up at the hostel at 8.30am to be told we weren't allowed to check in until 2pm, this was sad. 3 hours sat in McDonalds was even sadder. Whilst Fiona (Perkupine) did not quite have the energy to move, Skelicopter and Lazerbeam took a hazy walk in an attempt to find leaflets, leaflets we did find. When we returned Perkupine had been thrown out of McDonalds and was sat at the hostel waiting. After pleading with the lady at the desk we were finally allowed up to our (very cold) room. After several hours napping it became apparent that we had a new room mate, and we were delighted to find that his name began with a T...... Tony Top Bunk was born. He's quite a tall man, around 38 years of age with rather large walking boots and a rather loud snore (which Perkupine didn't seem to be too fond of).

Lazerbeams good friend Liam Ambrose had been waiting with bated breath for many months for her arrival and was most put out when we told him to shut up and go away whilst we slept, so to make it up to him we took a trip to his hostel and had a lovely reunion where he told us all about how fond he had recently become of trees and shrubs following a recent excursion to the Botanical Gardens. After leaving his hostel we decided to catch a tram (in the wrong direction but how were we to know) but were momentarily distracted when a burly gentleman in a dress and high heels came scuffing and staggering towards us. Whilst he did have a wig, makeup and a five o'clock shadow, he seemed quite harmless and smiled benignly as he made his way past (all I can say is I hope I don't walk like that in my high heels when I'm drunk). We watched with some concern as he attempted to cross the tram lines, but thankfully his stillettos didn't get stuck. He stopped for a little rest on the central reservation, and to our surprise and distaste relieved himself like a carthorse without even so much as pulling his dress up, or his stockings down. Satisfied, he continued on his way, and we decided it was probably best to get a taxi afterall.

Too tired to fill you in on the latest but thought it best to share our first impressions of Melbourne. Trams, Trannies, Tony Top Bunk.... All in all it's a lot like Manchester.

Over and out,

Skelicopter & Lazerbeam

Friday 22 June 2012

Today we did hungover packing,went on a boatride, ambled around a park and disembowled a massive crab. Success. We fly to Melbourne at 10.35 tonight, so bye bye Singapore, we had a great time!

Wednesday 20 June 2012

Just taking some time out from doing my "I've got a red silk dressing gown with a dragon embroidered on the back" dance to post this message. We touched down in Singapore with great joy and relief having attempted to sleep unsuccessfully for seven hours. It was a slight concern to Isla as to where we were to meet her friend and honorary tour guide Shane, who lives in Singapore and who she had carried a very heavy bottle of vodka a very long way for. However her worries were assuaged when we got to the pub/hostel as he was waiting for us outside, very excitable and keen to begin our adventure. A quick change of attire later, we found ourselves drinking beer, eating spicy noodles, admiring the view from Shane's panoramic window in his apartment and then inextricably being whisked to the One Raffles Place's Altitude Bar - the highest outdoor roof terrace bar in the world. What a view. Singapore has a skyline that mesmerizes you; you could stare at it all night and still not drink it all in. So we retired to our reserved table (speaking of reservations, I have my own about Shane's ability to jump queues and sweet talk staff) where we drank copious amounts of vodka for the rest of the evening.
      Needless to say the last leg of the journey back to the hostel is a bit fuzzy, I do believe there was a large McDonalds involved though. We slept like sweaty little sloths for over twelve hours, recharged our batteries with big dirty bacon sandwiches and litres of fruit juice, then had a fun, touristy day drinking Singapore Slings at Raffles, looking at fountains, drinking some more, and then scampering through China town and bartering for my dressing gown ($60 - bargain), which I now sit triumphantly in feeling very much like a mafia don's wife. Perhaps I'll marry Shane. Time to continue the celebration, after which we are parading through Clark Key taking advantage of the ladies' nights' free drinks. 
Love from the Lazerbeam xx

Sunday 17 June 2012

                    And so the journey begins................................